Meeting Sally for the first, third or twentieth time, there is something you will not mistake about her.
MBOUMIEN Sally Maforchi epse Ndeh will strike you with her shinny skin head – so cleanly shaven you would think she just came fresh from the Babar’s. In local parlance, she has a “crow bow” head.
Whilst women spend long hours in beauty salons, struggling to look good with artificial hairs, nails and eye lashes, Sally would have had a cold shower, driven herself to a workshop, work place, market or social gathering.
Shaving off the eye brows may be in vogue for women, but not for Sally. Her family genetics has triggered a few hairs on her chin. Barbers often ask if they should trim it. The answer is always yes. And they would smooth it out.
Tell the dark-complexioned woman she’s got big eyes; and she would retort:
“Yes, very big. I have large eyes to see the world properly.”
Breaking into good laughter, and revealing her gap tooth, her dimples would deepen further on her cheeks. Let’s leave Sally’s headful looks alone and see what’s inside her brain box.
Of course, she is an all-round woman. Very knowledgeable about life and the way the world works. The professional teacher is a workshop in one woman.
Tickle her about the disadvantaged place of women and girl children in society and you would have kick-started her passion and drive to improve their lot.
Ask for clarification on such issues and you’ll get a full lecture-made-simple. For Sally, there sis no taboo subject.
There is no where too far, no hill too tall, no terrain too rugged to go through and change lives.
As a professional teacher, Sally is always at the giving end of knowledge. She is sharp in sharing jokes.
But make no error. Sally can switch modes instantly from laughter filled conversations to straight-face-talking if the need to put records straight arises.
Did you know Sally is a school Discipline Mistress? Well, ask her students, in the deep south. They know too well that she takes her work seriously. Very strict. But also a counselor.
There is nowhere Sally would pass and not imprint her mark. Not even on the inter-urban routes.
The Bamenda-Bafoussam-Yaounde highway is one of the busiest and most challenging arteries – only the very brave and skillful drivers can tear-track on.
Sally the driver is one of the few Bali Nyongha women who can do it better and safer than men; and of course, on record time, day or night.
For those who know Sally, it is small wonder she is called The Fighter. Yes, a woman fighter! Many say she is at her best when challenged.
Perhaps no woman loves trials more than her. And there have been plenty of bumpy encounters in her life.
The Fighter
Growing up among three boys as a lone daughter made Sally “a warrior”. She did not have the luxury of queenly treatments.
“Yea I had to fight to survive male dominance”,
a spirit which later played out as the foundation of her life as an activist or social advocate.
Life in a polygamous family as sally puts it is a glaring example of living in conflict – which can either be violent or non-violent.
“This greatly influenced my life as a young girl as well as a married woman.”
As a girl child Sally had a normal life. She took her education seriously and is today pursuing a PhD.
The pressures from polygamy made this lone daughter of Nah Yeba miss the vital mother-daughter talk on her sexuality.
It is undoubtedly this missing link that later formed a pit she would fall into. A mistake that almost destroyed the fine woman she is today.
“At the age of 17, I had a crude illegal abortion at the backside of a drugstore which almost cost my life”
Sally says.
“This act which was not uncommon among her peers has now become the foundation of her life as a social advocate for women’s sexual and reproductive health rights and full participation of women in political decision making.
Sally started reaching out to adolescent girls and young women on issues of their sexuality as far back as 2004 when she joined the teaching corps in Cameroon.
She worked as mentor in girls’ leadership clubs and other women’s social groups. This service to the female folk proved insufficient as women and girls continued to be victims of tons of uninformed decisions regarding their sexuality.
Solo Action
In 2016 Sally decided to create her own organization Common Action for Gender Development, COMAGEND, which seeks to uphold women’s sexual and reproductive health rights.
Sally says women don’t develop their full potentials because of poor management of their sexuality.
It is for this reason that she has been running the Empower Me Don’t Blame Me campaign aimed at bringing every stakeholder on board to discuss issues of sexuality which is currently a taboo subject in almost every household or community.
This campaign has taken her to many communities within Cameroon.
Although sally had discovered that the real problem of women is their absence in decision making positions like policy making, she did not act on correcting that until June 2018.
Following the crisis in the English-speaking regions, most of the women Sally works with were affected and many of them displaced.
In her continuous quest to give humanitarian assistance to these suffering women and girls, she understood how deep this vulnerable group misses out on a lot of things; simply because they are not considered in decisions making, talk less of being represented.
Sally joined the South West North West Women Task Force. SNWOT, since one of its activities is to ensure women are an integral part of seeking the solutions to the crisis as well as be a part of the peace building process.
Under this coalition as its North West regional coordinator Sally continues to press for the rights of participation of women in the existing narrative and their central role in peace building as they are the primary victims of armed conflict.
Sally has not had an easy ride in her life as a community development actor, humanitarian or activist.
She has faced persecution because she is a woman discussing things meant for men. She has suffered threats on her life and her children because of her contrary views to those of some opinion holders.
Yet she bubbles with lots of dreams for women to take up decision making positions and change their situation.
But she is faced with the giant problem that slows down all women with big ambitions. Money! She lacks financial and technical support to bring these dreams to fruitful reality.
Sally says though the course she has chosen seems deadly she won’t abandon her passion and divine assignment.
“I prefer to die for something rather than die for nothing”
she says. That even means giving up so much pleasantries and beautification. So, when next you the warrior woman losing her hair under the barbar’s clippers, or waiting to take her turn, be sure she will engage in or trigger off the manly conversations typical of barbing shops.
And yes, before she leaves, any male chauvinists or abusers present would have had a good dose of mind-changing education from the crow-bow head woman fighter.